“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:26

My flesh may fail…

Man, can I relate to this! In a family filled with athletes…I’m the reader. Send me out on a run, and my flesh will indeed fail. And as I age, my flesh fails me in entirely new and surprising ways. I’ve got a foot and a shoulder and a hip that have all learned to say “no” to me at inconvenient times. And then there’s that middle-aged woman who keeps looking back at me in the mirror. Talk about surprising! I’ve started saying (without much actual solace) that “aging is God’s gracious reminder to me that I’m mortal.” It’s the whistle on that final train that’s coming for me, and no amount of anti-aging tricks could ever derail it. But here’s the blessed truth: when I get on that train, I’m heading to a far better country. 

These are my first-thoughts on this verse, and they aren’t wrong.

But Asaph (the psalmist who penned this verse) was addressing more than just his fleeting mortality. He was also confessing his failing morality. His fleshly body wasn’t just tired, it was tired of not getting all the things it wanted. In his heart too, he “envied the arrogant” and “the prosperity of the wicked" (v. 3). He wanted their health, their strength, their riches…all the ease and comforts of the world (vv. 4, 12). Yet, he knows their abundance overflows from violence, deceit, and oppression. Still, his heart was jealous. 

And he wondered if following God was worth it. 

He said, “Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence. All day long I have been afflicted, and every morning brings new punishments” (vv. 13-14). The foundational question on his heart was: Why do the wicked flourish and the righteous flounder? Or to get at it even more succinctly: Is God fair? Is he being fair to me?

I wonder if you’ve ever been there.

I wonder if you’ve ever been knocked down by illness or loss or hardship and asked, “What did I do to deserve this, God? Is my dedication to you disregarded? Maybe this narrow road isn’t worth it.” If thoughts like these have ever bothered you or if they bother you right now, you’re not alone. They bother me too. And clearly, they bothered Asaph. He said, “When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply” (v16). And right here, at his lowest point of doubt and despair, he does the most astonishing thing. 

He takes his deeply troubling thoughts about God to God. 

And God answers! Not with a harsh rebuke, but with gentle kindness. He reminds Asaph that his vantage point is limited. He cannot see the end destination of the wicked and the righteous. And yet, that final “train” is coming for both. God shows Asaph that he will judge the wicked justly, that they will be “cast down to ruin” for their unrepentant evil (v.18). And this is a comfort to Asaph, that God is just. 

But God is also merciful. And he forgives all who repent and turn to him...even Asaph. More than just forgiveness, God gives Asaph himself. And all the world’s luster fades in his warm embrace. Hear what Asaph says about his relationship with God:

Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever. (vv. 23-26)

What beautiful words. What a profound place to land after his discontent and doubting. Let them be the words that bolster you today. Life isn’t always easy. Yet God, God himself, is always with you, forgiving your failings, holding your hand and guiding you. What more could you want? May he be the strength of your heart and your portion today…and forever.

Want to dive in deeper? Listen to this week’s podcast here.