I need god to be god, because i've got boots on the ground in the battle for joy.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." - Revelation 1:8

There’s part of me that feels like a broken record right now.

I’m like “Eeyore”, constantly noticing the one black cloud. But, can I just say that the “one black cloud” is covering up pretty much all of the sky… most of the time? Amen!?!? Seriously though, I just keep waking up again and again to this same gloom. And, so I keep on fighting the darkness with this same ray of hope: God is God.

I keep on reminding myself of the truths of Scripture… like all of the time.

I am speaking truths to myself in the early morning, in the mid-morning, in the late-morning... all the live-long day! I need good words, God’s words, following me around, on my arm, on my windowsill, swirling around in my head, telling me about what’s true. Because, what I see all around me, what I hear coming from my stir-crazy kids, and the ugliness I feel welling up in my own heart can be pretty dark.

I need the light!

This month’s verse is already the exact word I need in this dark season. I need a big God. I need a God who is the First (Alpha) and the Last (Omega). I need a God who has everything under control, despite my feeling like the earth is a bit off tilt right now. I need a God who is mighty and good and sees all of it and cares. But, I don’t need it in a theologically distant sort of way. I need it in my soul. I need it to matter, to impact me on the heart level, because I’ve got boots on the ground over here. I’ve got to keep fighting for joy against this ever present darkness that looms over this world, my family, and my own heart.

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Just this morning, God gave my heart a solid boost with his words.

My daughters started off the day cuddling on the couch and asking me some very difficult “why” questions. I must say, I wasn’t quite ready for that! ”Why’d we have to move to a new city right before a pandemic? Why can’t we go to school? Why is everything so hard right now?” Stalling a bit, I told them it’s okay to ask questions, especially honest ones. But, then I confessed that I don’t have good answers to those questions, and truthfully, I’ve had many of the same questions myself.

Then, God gave me some good words.

They weren’t my words, but his, the words from Revelation 1:8 that we’ve just started memorizing together. “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “Who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” We just talked about those words and what they might mean in light of all of our questions. We decided that they mean that our God rules over everything from beginning to end. And though we can’t see the rest of the story, he does. And even right now in our messy middle, he is right here with us. And maybe, just maybe, he’s teaching us truths and growing us in ways we could never have known or grown without this hardship. So, we can trust in his goodness and his power to redeem our sadness, restore our hope, and to bring lasting forever-joy both in small ways now and in perfect fullness for all time.

That was all we needed this morning.

But, afternoon is already here. No doubt, more questions will come and more darkness will creep back in. And, though I cannot answer all of the specific complaints, I am holding tight to this verse that reminds me God is God, God is good, and he is big enough to hear our complaints and kind enough to ease our minds and hearts

What good words are you clinging to and preaching to yourself right now?

How does this specific verse give you a light in the darkness?

What might God be teaching you in this time that you couldn’t have learned any other way?

How have your grown in this hardship?

Thanks for reading,