I don't need more FROM Jesus. I just need more OF Jesus.
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
- Psalm 91:1
I NEED THIS VERSE RIGHT NOW.
More than I need anything, I need Jesus. I need to sit at his feet and just be. I need to read his Word and remember who I am. More than that though, I need to remember who he is.
I know that might sound desperate. It might sound like I’m going through a lot of really hard things. And, in some ways, I am. I'm deeply saddened by innocent black lives unjustly taken. I'm weary from quarantine. I've attended two funerals this week. But, really my emotional brokenness only serves to highlight an even deeper poverty.
Jesus, in his goodness, has chosen this season of mourning as a time for revelation. He has been showing me my own deficiencies. Now, I’m deficient in a lot of ways, really. But, he hasn’t been revealing my shortage of wisdom or strength or joy. I’m not praying that he would give me some specific distribution of grace. Nope. Not that I couldn’t use more of all of those things, surely. But, that isn’t the lack I am feeling. Instead, Jesus is graciously showing me my lack of him.
I don’t need more things FROM Jesus.
I need more OF Jesus.
I need to sit at the feet of my treasured Friend and just be. I need to let the still small voice of his Spirit speak to my heart. I need to give him my sorrows and allow him to be my Great Comforter. I need more quiet contemplation and less reading for knowledge. I need more adoration and worship, and less ticking spirituality off my list. I don't really need any of the things on my long list of personal deficiencies. Instead, I need the joy of my first love. I need Jesus. That's it.
If that resonates at all with you, join me in praying for more of Jesus in your life.
Do you find yourself going to Jesus for things instead of just going to be with him?
How might being with Jesus be exactly what you need?
Natalie co-founded Dwell with her sister, Vera. Together, they're committed to helping others connect with God each and every day. Natalie also hosts our weekly podcast, Dwell Differently. She and her husband, Jason, live in Chicago with their 5 kids, where Jason pastors First Free Church.