If God says I am light, only he can make it so.

You are the light of the world.  A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.

- Matthew 5:14

Make It So

You say I am light. 

But, I know I am not. 

Oh Lord, I have been avoiding this—talking to you about this whole light thing, writing about it. I think, “Maybe I can just be general and speak about terms and definitions, not about my real feelings.” Because, I am just not feeling very much like light lately. Sure, there are times when I do, when I can nod my head in agreement. There are times that I am gelling with you God, when I feel your light beaming through me, your own words coming out of my mouth to help others out of the pit. But, now isn’t that time. 

Right now, I’m the one in the pit. 

I’ve fallen into patterns of frustration, anger, and joylessness. Right now, there is so much going on that just feels dark. And, the light at the end of this long tunnel seems to move further away the more I walk towards it. I’m frustrated, exhausted, and spread thin. 

So, I’m asking you, O Lord, how can I be light?

You answer me always with your own words. Even now, your words echo in my mind, true words, words I believe in my mind. You remind me who you are—the God whose very words call into existence things that are not there. You call Peter, that wavering wave walker, “the rock” on which you will build your church. And then, you make it so. You call a dead daughter “asleep”, and then you wake her up. You call your enemies “friends”, sinners “saints”, outsiders “beloved”. You decide what is. You make it so.

O Lord, you call things out of nothingness. And then they are. 

And, just as you called into that deep void, “let there be light”, so I hear you whispering into my own depths those same words, “Let there be light”. They are words that only you can make true. Even now you’re breaking through, fighting against my false feelings with your truth. 

You call me light. 

You have said so, and so it must be. But, only you can make it so, even today, even now. So, I will do the one simple thing that I can do: I will believe you. I will walk by faith, clinging to your words even when I don’t see it, especially when I don’t see it.

Make it so.

Are you believing what God says about you?  

Natalie co-founded Dwell with her sister, Vera. Together, they're committed to helping others connect with God each and every day. Natalie also hosts our weekly podcast, Dwell Differently. She and her husband, Jason, live in Chicago with their 5 kids, where Jason pastors  First Free Church.