I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!
- Mark 9:24b
This month we’ve been considering doubt. What better time than a pandemic to be forced to face those things that send us down the path of unbelief? So, I am going to get real with you and tell you my own repetitive doubts that have plagued me in this time. They’re questions really. I just keep asking God, “What in the world are you doing in all of this?” and “How can I live out my calling right now?” But, today God turned my questions back on me. I felt him asking me back, “What in the world are you doing? How are you living out your calling right now?”
You see, the truth is, in many ways I’ve been on pause, just waiting. I should be trusting what God is doing and then doing what he has entrusted to me. But instead, I’ve spent way too much time questioning what God is doing and simply wallowing, worrying, and wanting “normal” to come back. In fact, I’ve spent so much time hungering for normal, that I have neglected my calling in the “right now”. You see, none of us are going to get to live out the non-COVID-19 version of 2020. In fact, that was never going to actually happen. So, why fixate on something that isn’t there? That was never my calling. God’s real and actual purpose for me is to live out my faith in the middle of this pandemic.
My calling isn’t on hold, it just looks different than I thought it would.
For me, my “COVID-19 calling” looks like loving my 5 kids well and engaging patiently in the process of schooling them. It looks like encouraging my family and friends and offering to help out whenever I can. It looks like speaking truth and hope to my people when they fall into those inevitable funks. It looks like having realistic expectations about my day instead of coveting “normal”. And most of all, it looks like trusting and worshiping God each and every day. Only he can fill me up and give me strength and grace to face each day without disappointment. This is my calling. This is how I need to live out my REAL and ACTUAL day-to-day.
I came to all of this realization as I was reading the book of Haggai this morning. The people were neglecting what God had told them to do because things got hard. So God said to them, “Consider your ways.” Those words just convicted me. I did consider my ways, and they came up way short.
What about you?
What if you considered your ways and laid them out before God? I know it isn’t fun. But, it might be the very thing you need to pull you up out of a funk and get you going on the path that God has laid out for you in this time. He wants you to thrive during this crisis, not to just survive it. For me, it was exactly what I needed.
Are you stuck in a place of wallowing, worrying or just wanting "normal" to come back?
What if you considered your ways and laid them out before God?
Ask God to show you his purpose for you in this time.